Bureaucracy at its Finest?

One of the pieces of paper sitting on my desk for the last month or two requiring my attention was a permit application from the city of Charlotte for the alarm we recently had installed. I finally got around to taking a look at it today. It informed me that the city of Charlotte requires all alarms to be registered and that a valid permit number was required in order to receive police response to an alarm.

Really? So like, this is what would happen if someone walked into the house brandishing a gun at me right now and I hit the Panic button on the alarm?

[ME]: HEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!
[ALARM COMPANY GUY]: We're sending the police right away! Oh wait... I don't seem to have your permit number on file... did you send in your paperwork?
[ME]: What? HEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!
[ALARM COMPANY GUY]: Do you think you could fax that over real quick...?

Okay, that is probably not what would happen. (I hope!)

But just the same, I put the permit application in the mail just now...

Kung Fu Ben

Yesterday Joel took Ben to see Kung Fu Panda. We had already planned the outing, but hearing of cousin Charlie's successful (and in my opinion odds-defying) movie-going experience made me even more confident that Ben would be able to sit through it. His last attempt at going to a movie theater was probably a year and a half ago, and he freaked out when confronted with the low lights and loud music and Joel had to take him out before the movie even started.

Yesterday's trip to the movies was much more successful. Ben was thoroughly enchanted by the entire experience - the movie posters, the food ("Daddy bought me a Coke that was so big I couldn't even carry it!") He sat through the whole movie without complaint, up to the last five minutes when he started to get a little restless, but he still made it through the whole movie. (Joel, by the way, also reports having thoroughly enjoyed the movie).

When they got home, Ben re-enacted the final battle for me:

What Ben Said #1

[This is the first installment in what is sure to be a many part series...]

Ben wins the Random Question of the Day Award:

"Mom, what happens if a tiger has to blow his nose in the jungle?"

If You Think Being Married to a Pediatrician Comes in Handy

When I took Ben to the pediatrician on Wednesday for his physical they were unsuccessful in getting him to pee in a cup. So they sent the cup home with me with instructions to get a sample and bring it back. So yesterday I got him to pee in the cup finally, but I had no idea how to store it so naturally I asked Joel --"Do I need to refrigerate this? I'm not dropping it off until tomorrow."

"Nah," he said, "it will be fine."

So when I dropped it off of course the receptionist asked had I refrigerated it? "No," I admitted. "Is that bad?"

"Sorry," she said. "You'll have to redo it."

Thanks Joel.

It Could Be a Lot Worse

I'm a little tired this morning. Shortly after I went to bed last night, Becca woke up screaming her head off. I went upstairs to check on her. When I picked her up she stopped crying instantly, but she was wide awake - I mean totally bug-eyed, looking all around, and generally acting like she'd just drank a Red Bull. I tried to nurse her, and she did nurse but with the same bug-eyed look, and all the while trying to shove her fingers up my nose. It took me about an hour to get her to finally go back to sleep.

This morning both she and Ben were up before 7. Ben I think woke up early to have extra time to convince me that he was still sick and needed to stay home a second day: "I have a fever! See? My forehead is so cold!" ("You're supposed to be hot when you have a fever." "Oh.") And, a little later: "Mommy I think I need to stay home today. I feel like I am going to throw up." (Five minutes later he was jumping off the couch with arms outspread in a vain attempt to fly like Superman, so I am pretty sure he'll live).

When I finally got them both packed off to day care and camp, I stopped for my morning coffee fix. I complained to the girl behind the counter (who knows both kids and asks about them regularly) about Becca's late night interlude and early morning awakening, hoping for some sympathy. "Yeah I know" she said, not sounding all that sympathetic. "I have five kids, and they were all running around at midnight last night, and I have to get up for work at four."

Suddenly I didn't feel all that sorry for myself anymore.

I'm Going to the Bookstore Tomorrow

I just read the Reading List on Kirabug's Idea Files (aka Anne's blog). Some of the books on it reminded me of the summer Ben turned 1. The summer Ben turned 1, I read The Kite Runner, The Lovely Bones, Bee Season, Life of Pi, The Time Traveler's Wife, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Moonlight, The Poisonwood Bible, The History of Love, The DaVinci Code... and probably some others I am forgetting about. And I haven't picked up a book since, except for whatever Harry Potters came out between then and now, and a failed attempt at His Dark Materials. I am going to the bookstore tomorrow. First on my list - Junot Diaz's The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. I'll publish my review here.

Thanks Anne!

Thank Goodness for Slow Days

I kept Ben home from camp today. He was well enough to be up and about, but he had a fever during the night last night and was still complaining about his throat hurting. I spent the day sitting on the floor near enough to the computer to see if any emails came in - thankfully very few did - and played with Ben. We broke out all the birthday presents he hadn't had a chance to open yet: we did two puzzles, played about a billion games of Zingo, built a Lego car, and raced Hot Wheels on a new race track. By the end of the day I was pretty worn out. It was harder work than actually working usually is. I am fervently hoping he will be well enough to go to camp tomorrow.

The Phone Call Every Working Mother Dreads

At 4pm, I got The Call. I knew what it was about as soon as I saw the JCC's number on the caller ID. I knew it was camp calling to tell me to come get Ben because he was sick. I was even expecting it. I was expecting it because all mothers have a certain sixth sense when it comes to their offspring. (Not because he complained he didn't feel well this morning and felt a little feverish, and the dose of Motrin I gave him before I took him to camp was scheduled to wear off at precisely 4pm. Not that at all. I swear).

A Trip to the Doctor

I took Ben and Becca for their well exams this morning. Ben had his 4 year appointment and Rebecca had her 9 month appointment. Here are their check-up stats:

Ben--
Height: 44 1/4 inches (>97th percentile)
Weight: 38.8 lbs (75th percentile)

Becca--
Height: 28 1/2 inches (75th percentile)
Weight: 20.02 lbs (70th percentile)
Head circumference: 18 inches (90th percentile)

Ben had his vision and hearing tested, and got a Hepatitis A vaccination. I kept him in the dark about it until the last moment so he held still for it because he didn't know what was coming. I felt bad for not telling him about it but he would have threw a fit I am sure. The nurse gave him a popsicle and two stickers, so he got over it fast.

Rebecca did not get any vaccinations, but she got a finger prick to have her hemoglobin checked. Afterwards she immediately pulled the bandaid off and tried to eat it. Her hemoglobin was borderline normal, at 11.1, so the pediatrician suggested giving her an iron supplement every other day. I'll defer to my hematologist husband on that one... I don't want to risk causing constipation unless it is really necessary...

Who needs a baby book when you have a blog?

Car Pool

So this morning I decided it would be faster to drop Ben off at camp in the car pool drop-off line, instead of parking and walking him in. Parking and walking him in involves taking him up to the second floor, signing him in, possibly prying him off my leg, going back out to the car, then trying to back out of a parking space in a parking lot swarming with moms, kids, strollers and a disproportionately high number of Lexus SUVs. So using the drop-off line would save a lot of time, right? After all, I wouldn't even have to get out of the car.

Wrong. Let me preface this story by saying that Ben did fine with being dropped off in the car-pool line last summer, so I don't know why he freaked out this time except for it being the first time we did it this year. He got upset as soon as I told him I was going to drop him off instead of walking him in. I figured by the time we got up to the front of the line he'd settle down. He didn't. The last straw was when he saw that the counselor manning our drop-off spot was a guy. "I don't want that boy to take me out! I don't want that boy to take me out!" he yelled. Then he refused to unbuckle his car seat, and tried to prevent me from reaching back and unbuckling him. I had to get out of the car (thus defeating half the purpose of being in the car pool line in the first place) and go around and pry his fingers off the seat belt so I could unbuckle it. Then he tried to make a break for it, diving behind the driver's seat. I had to grab him and haul him bodily from the car, while he kicked and screamed. To make matters worse, we were at the front of the car pool line, so while this was going on we were holding up the whole line (all of their children were retrieved without incident I am sure).

Anyway the poor counselor took one look at my sobbing son and backed away with his hands in the air. "I'm not taking him," he said. Thanks, man. You're a real help. Fortunately the camp director had spotted our situation and hurried over to help. She picked up Ben (still kicking and screaming) and tried to console him. She was moderately successful - the kicking stopped anyway - but as I got back into the car after giving him a quick hug I could still hear him crying as she carried him into the building. "We'll call you if he doesn't calm down but I'm sure he'll be fine!" she called over her shoulder.

I was sure too, but what a way to start the day...

Summer Camp

Today was Ben's first day of summer camp.* Since he was a little nervous (even though half the kids in his group he knows from preschool and it's in the same building) I walked him inside instead of using the carpool dropoff lane. He was shy with his new camp counselors at first, but soon was eyeing a bin of dinosaur toys and didn't give me any problem about leaving.

When I picked him up at the end of the day he was overflowing with excitement to tell me about his first swimming lesson and how he had put his head under water and not been scared (he has been really stressed out about swimming lessons because he is afraid to put his head under the water). He also told me about his first science class, which apparently involved balloons, an egg, a bowl of water, a paper clip and soap. I really could not follow what he was telling me, except that the lesson was about "fressure." ("Pressure?" "Yes, fressure." Uh, ok). Somewhere in his long and convoluted narrative about balloons and air and eggs and paperclips he threw in the word "evidently." It was too cute. (Yesterday he used the word "securely", which cracked me up also).

So I am very proud of him for (maybe) conquering his fear of putting his head under water, and relieved that he enjoyed his first day. Most of all I am excited that I don't have to pack a lunch for him for 6 weeks (it is provided at camp). Yay!**

*Ben's preschool likes to make life difficult in a number of ways, one of which is to close for 6 weeks in the summer, forcing families that require year-round care to enroll in summer camp at the JCC. Being arguably the best preschool in Charlotte, I suppose they feel they have that right.

**Another way in which Ben's preschool likes to make things difficult is by requiring a vegetarian lunch which is kept refrigerated and not allowed to be re-heated. Ben likes to make things difficult by refusing to eat most cold, vegetarian options, such as peanutbutter and jelly.

Birthday Bash

Today we celebrated Ben's birthday at Monkey Joe's. With two exceptions, it went very well. First, I could not get any good pictures of him because he was running around so fast he would not stay still. Most of the pictures I got of him are blurry pictures of his back as he ran away from me. The second problem was that he refused to blow out his birthday candles. Rebecca, having not acquired the power of mobility yet, was a much more willing photo participant. Enjoy the pictures and video below.

Video: I hate being the center of attention, please stop it.

Pictures: Mostly not of the birthday boy.

Stomp Rocket Fun

Who needs to take it outside when you have 20 foot ceilings and no diningroom furniture?

High School Musical

This morning on the way to preschool Ben and I had the following conversation:

[BEN]: Why am I growing so slowly?
[ME]: You're growing fast. I'm not growing at all any more.
[BEN]: When did you stop growing?
[ME]: In high school I guess.
[BEN]: What's high school? High School Musical?
[ME]: What do you know about High School Musical?
[BEN]: It's a high school where there's music.
[ME]: It's a movie. High school is where big kids go to school.
[BEN]: I don't want to go to High School Musical when I'm a big kid.

Some of his friends at school must have older sisters. The other day he asked me who Hannah Montana was.

Editor's Note

With the addition of pertinent news headlines and Stephen Colbert's Word of the Day, this blog now contains everything any sensible person needs to know on a day to day basis. Go ahead, make it your homepage. You know you want to.

The End of an Era

Some of you may rejoice to know that the I BRAKE FOR MEN AND OTHER HELPLESS ANIMALS keychain finally fell off my key ring this morning, after 16 years... It is truly the end of an era.

This Date in History: June 19, 2004

At 9:55 a.m, Benjamin Robert was born. His entry into the world was not without complications. He was a week overdue. I am sure he did this just to be difficult, knowing that Joel and I were waiting on his arrival with more than the usual amount of anxiety. Joel was due to start a new job 250 miles away on July 1st. We needed to get the baby out and get on the road. Most of our belongings had already made the move to our new house, and the last three weeks of pregnancy were more than a little inconvenient. When labor finally started, it was a relief - but not for long. I was in labor for 14 hours before I was allowed to have an epidural, and the OB on-call for the delivery was the one I really, really didn't like. It was another 14 hours after receiving the epidural before Ben was finally born. He was gray, and needed to be intubated twice to get him breathing. Then, just as now, he was long and skinny. He looked like a little bird with big dark eyes. I think he cleaned up pretty nicely though don't you?

A Hint of Things to Come

Rebecca has learned to shake her head "no." Tonight it was to protest a forced feeding of Beechnut Stage 2 Turkey Tetrazzini. Tomorrow it will be to protest her 11pm curfew.

Editor's Note

For those of you who have been stymied by the registration process, I have removed this roadblock to posting comments. Now there is no reason why you cannot comment on my witty posts... yes, you... :)

Ben Through The Years

As Ben approaches his 4th birthday, Mom is feeling a little nostalgic...

A New Blog in the Family

I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate Abby on the birth of her new blog, Lessons From Charlie. You will find a link to it in my blog roll. Congratulations Abby!!

The Disadvantages of Working from Home

There was a fire down the street from my company's main headquarters yesterday, which has disrupted phone and email access from the office. So my manager told all of us to work from home today. Except... I already work from home. So where's the fun in that?

It also sucks to work from home when someone brings in cookies.

The Mother of all Kiddie Pools

It took Joel an hour and a half to pump this thing up (using a bicycle pump). All because I decided we needed a kiddie pool for the backyard for when I don't feel like packing the kids up and driving the 5 minutes to the JCC pool (or the two minutes to the community pool). Err, happy father's day...?

Photo Essay #4: Water Babies

Trying to Hit a Moving Target

Recently Abby sent me an email forward with a list of "lessons" that expectant parents should complete to make certain they are up to the task of having a baby. Part of it read as follows:

"Lesson 8. Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air. You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby."

I thought this was a bit of an exaggeration, until I remembered this video Abby took while she was visiting us a few weeks ago. (While the main subject of the video is Rebecca, please also take note of my two-year-old nephew Charlie drinking a Diet Coke with his breakfast).

The Trouble with Gum

Yesterday morning I brought Becca downstairs and went to put her in her pack-n-play so I could help Ben get dressed. As I put her down I noticed there was a chewed piece of gum in her pack-n-play. I brought it to Ben and asked if it was his. He said no but I could tell he wasn't telling the truth. I explained to him that gum only belongs in the trash and it is very dangerous to leave a piece of gum where Rebecca could pick it up and put it in her mouth. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I went ahead and elaborated that if Rebecca put it in her mouth she could choke and die. Then I added that if I ever found a piece of chewed gum anywhere but in the trash can he would not be allowed to have gum again.

I was calm but stern. It was not the first trouble with gum I have had. When Ben was a baby I found a piece of chewed gum in his crib sheet as I was putting a clean sheet on his mattress one day. It was Joel's. He had recently started chewing gum again, and not unlike my almost-4-year-old, he had been known to leave chewed pieces lying around. This one he had apparently put in his pocket and it had gone through the wash and become entangled in the crib sheet.

The talk I had with Joel after that incident was a lot more stern and a lot less calm. But, I never again saw a piece of chewed gum anywhere. Until yesterday that is.

Like father, like son.

Becca's Babies

Chocolate Soup

Yesterday I discovered Chocolate Soup and Shower Me With Love. Chocolate Soup (unfortunately they don't seem to have a web site) is a children's clothing boutique with designer brands marked way down. I was shopping for a shower gift for a neighbor, but I also got Becca 2 new outfits. One of them was marked $60 originally, then marked down to $28, and then they were having an additional 50% off everything in the store so it was $14... I will have to go back when I have more time to browse (I went on my lunch hour yesterday). The two stores are right next to each other, very convenient.

As if I need more places to shop...

This Date in History: June 12 2007

I boarded a plane, with Ben in one hand and the cat in the other, bound for our new home in Charlotte.

To Blog or Not to Blog

Today I received a call from my mother. "We love your blog," she said. "You need to convince your brother to start one. Here, I'll put him on the phone."

[ME]: Uh, hi Alex. Start a blog.

[ALEX]: Let me tell you what I did last night........................[this is abridged because I was not actually paying attention so I don't really know what he was doing last night. I did hear the phrase "ridiculously tired" several times though]........................ And, when I get home, if the power is back on, I am not going to start a blog.

Well you see, Alex, the blog is not for you. It is for me, so that I don't have to tune out your monologues every time I talk to you on the phone because I am on my cell phone trying to back out of a parking spot without running over an old lady. Instead I can read them (or skim them) at my leisure. I am sure some of them would be a lot more interesting than whatever it is you were trying to tell me you did last night. And if you'd blogged it, I'd know what that was.

Work-At-Home-Mom

Yesterday was Ben's second day in a row off, for Shavuot. (I think I spelled that right but I don't actually know what the holiday is for and Joel couldn't remember either). Ben's grandparents picked him up at 1 (thank god) and took him out for the afternoon. So I just had to put up with this all morning as I tried to work:

[BEN]: I want someone to play with me!
[ME]: I can't, sweetie, I have to work. Why don't you do another art project?
[BEN]: Okay. What color should I use? Blue? or Green? Mama! MAMA! What color should I use? I think green. Whoa! Whoa! Mama look! The dinosaurs are going all gone! The volcanoes are coming! Do you love it? Isn't it beautiful? [holding up his artwork which I can only imagine is supposed to involve dinosaurs and volcanoes but i see neither one. Entire elapsed time: 2 minutes 30 seconds.]
[BEN]: Can we play hide and seek?
[ME]: No sweetie, I have work to do.
[BEN]: When are you going to be done? I want someone to play with me.
[ME]: I have a lot of work to do, sweetie. Nanny and Papa are coming to pick you up at 1.
[BEN]: My clock says it's 1 already. Call Nanny and Papa and tell them to come get me.
[ME]: It's not 1. It's 10:15.
[BEN]: I know! Let's make apple pie!

Thank goodness he is back at preschool today...

Comments, Please

Okay so I have noticed that I only have one reader who adds comments to my blog. (Thank you Anne!) The rest of you, and you know who you are, better start speaking up.

PS, If you read this blog and you don't have a blog of your own, please start one so I can add you to my blog list. I want more blogs. That means you Abby.

150-ish Days From Now

Okay so I am far too tired to actually figure out how many days from now. But on November 6th I will be here.

One of Those Days

Have you ever had one of those days where you could feel the frown lines between your eyes getting deeper and deeper? I didn't sleep well last night, overslept this morning, Ben's preschool is closed today and tomorrow, and I am running low on vacation days so I didn't take any time off. Joel had the day off today fortunately so he kept Ben out of my hair for most of the day, but work was stressful, having Ben around even for a couple hours while I was trying to work was stressful, and now I have a headache and I feel a bit cross-eyed. Not to mention the whole forehead wrinkle thing. I need Botox. Or Scotch tape.

Baby Blue...

...is the color of her eyes/baby blue like the Colorado skies/baby blue...

To Catch a Fly with Honey

Whoever it was who said "You catch more flies with honey" was just plain wrong. I put a dish of honey on the table a couple of hours ago and there are no flies stuck in it. If there are still none it in by morning, Ben is going to be very disappointed. Plan B - a rolled up Newsweek.

The Heat is On

I just checked the 5 day forecast - it is supposed to be 98-100 degrees for the next 5 days. Please pray with me that our air conditioning does not break like it did last summer.

Editor's Note

So I managed to upload my latest pics to Picasa web albums and link to it here. You can click on the slide show on the right hand side of the page. I think every time I upload a new slide show I will change the slide show link to show the latest photos. Enjoy!