Burglars Beware

We are now alarmed and dangerous. Door alarms, a motion sensor, two way voice communication with fire, police and ambulance, a panic button, a silent alarm... Now if only I can figure out how to work the darn thing...

Cats are Easier to Take Care of Than Plants

When I forget to water the cat, he drinks from the toilet. But if anyone asks, it was last night's cold temperatures that killed the hanging baskets, not my sporadic watering.

The Inevitable Question

This morning on the way to preschool Ben was showing me how he can sing "Where is Thumbkin?" holding up his thumbs and singing the song. Then he went on to Pointer, Pinky, and Ring Man. As I walked him up to the building he asked, "Mommy, what is this one called?" I looked over and saw that he was holding his middle finger up at me. I resisted the urge to tell him that one is called "Birdie." Instead I said, "Put that one down, honey. That one's not polite to hold up."

"Why?"
"Because."
"Why?"
"Because."

Non-Incident

Dear Abby,

This morning while I was getting Rebecca dressed she reached over and grabbed the bottle of infant motrin off the end of the dresser. As I took it away from her and double-checked that the cap was screwed on tightly, I thought of you.

Homer the Home Run Dragon

This morning Ben brought Homer the Home Run Dragon to preschool with him to show his friends. He waved it in front a group of his friends and announced, "This is Homer the friendly baseball dragon. He is nice, not like the polar bear. The polar bear cheats at baseball! He -"

"Okay buddy!" I interrupted loudly, before he could continue on explaining steroid abuse to his 3- and 4-year-old friends. "Put Homer away now! I gotta get going! Have a good day!"

There's No Crying in Baseball

Here is Ben, about thirteen seconds into his first spectator sporting event - a minor league baseball game. Eight and a half innings and one order of chicken fingers and french fries, one sprite, one ill-received cotton candy ("why is it furry?"), and one sno-cone later we decided it was time to go. Ben wanted to look in the team store, so Joel took him in while I waited outside with Becca in her stroller. Five minutes later they emerged, Ben in tears and Joel exasperated. Apparently Joel had refused to let Ben have a teddy bear wearing a Mark Maguire jersey because of Maguire's steroid use. It fell upon me to attempt to explain to my 3 year old son through his howling sobs that the teddy bear he wanted cheated at baseball by taking pills that made him stronger than everyone else and so Daddy got him Homer the Home Run Dragon instead who is a nice dragon and does not cheat at baseball. After his sniffles subsided and I was buckling him into his car seat Ben asked, "Did the polar bear cheat at baseball too?" At my baffled look Joel explained, "The polar bear was wearing a Sammy Sosa jersey. He took steroids too. I told him he couldn't have that one either."

Smiling Happy Children Not Included

Today we shopped for a playset for the back yard. This is the one we decided on (pictured here on their web site, www.rainbowdirect.com). You would have thought that, upon being told that he was gettting a slide, swings, rock wall, fort, picnic table, etc of his very own Ben would have been excited, maybe jumped up and down... But no... He asked if it was coming today to our back yard and I told him no, it wouldn't be coming for a couple of weeks. He seemed to lose interest after that and went back to playing on the display models. So at this point I am a lot more excited about it than he is. I am sure when he actually sees it he will be thrilled. I am thrilled at the prospect of him being able to entertain himself in the back yard now without my active involvement, since he has just learned how to "pump" his legs so he can swing himself. We got a bucket swing for Rebecca so she won't be left out of the fun. When we actually get it I will post pictures of my actual children actually enjoying it. Stay tuned.

Chick-Fil-A Wars

Every time we get dinner from Chick-fil-a the same thing happens. I ask Ben what he wants to eat. He says chicken nuggets and french fries. I get chicken nuggets and french fries for him, and I get a chicken caesar wrap for myself. We get home and I give him his food and sit down with my caesar wrap. As soon as I unwrap it, Ben announces that he wants my dinner instead of his. He offers me his chicken nuggets, he begs, pleads, cajoles... Finally I give in and trade him half of my caesar wrap for his (six tiny) chicken nuggets. He takes about 3 bites of the caesar wrap before it falls apart and he decides he doesn't want any more. He takes his chicken nuggets back and leaves me with half a mutilated caesar wrap.

Passover Nightmare

Here is Becca before she pooped all over herself in the middle of Passover Seder last Sunday. I did not take an after picture, but now I wish I had. You will have to use your imagination. Close your eyes. Imagine lots more poop than you think was probably there, and you might be close. Now make sure that, in your mind's eye you see approximately 1/4 cup of poop smeared all over the front of Joel's white khakis, and another 1/4 cup smeared all over her car seat. God was punishing me for mentioning casually in the car on the way to Seder that I had not packed a change of clothes for Rebecca, so she better not poop all over herself. Although this was indeed an oversight on my part, it would never have occurred to me to pack a change of clothes for Joel as well...

Inaugural Post

I decided yesterday that I am a bad, horrible, terrible mother. I was going through the drawers in the kitchen where I stuff Ben's artwork after I take it out of his backpack every day. I was throwing out most of it because the drawers were so crammed full there was no room for anything new. In my defense of not saving my son's artwork, most of it can only be called artwork in the broadest sense of the term. Although Ben is almost 4 now, he seems to have inherited his father's artistic talent. If anything he draws even vaguely resembles what he claims it is, it goes up on the refrigerator.

Anyway that's not the point. The point is, first I threw away most of his "artwork", then I happened to come across the all of 3 short video clips I have on my computer of him, from around age 18 months - 2 years. Then I looked up my old blog, which I stopped posting about a year ago, coincidentally right when life actually started to get interesting. In the year since I gave up on that blog we moved, had a new baby... (No, there are no vidoes of her yet either).

So this is my attempt to salvage some memories for posterity. Again. We'll see how long this one lasts. And I'm going to bust out the video camera too. One of these days.