There's No Crying in Baseball

Here is Ben, about thirteen seconds into his first spectator sporting event - a minor league baseball game. Eight and a half innings and one order of chicken fingers and french fries, one sprite, one ill-received cotton candy ("why is it furry?"), and one sno-cone later we decided it was time to go. Ben wanted to look in the team store, so Joel took him in while I waited outside with Becca in her stroller. Five minutes later they emerged, Ben in tears and Joel exasperated. Apparently Joel had refused to let Ben have a teddy bear wearing a Mark Maguire jersey because of Maguire's steroid use. It fell upon me to attempt to explain to my 3 year old son through his howling sobs that the teddy bear he wanted cheated at baseball by taking pills that made him stronger than everyone else and so Daddy got him Homer the Home Run Dragon instead who is a nice dragon and does not cheat at baseball. After his sniffles subsided and I was buckling him into his car seat Ben asked, "Did the polar bear cheat at baseball too?" At my baffled look Joel explained, "The polar bear was wearing a Sammy Sosa jersey. He took steroids too. I told him he couldn't have that one either."